April 7th 2010
Well, another week has come and gone and I cannot believe I have almost been here in the MTC for a month! In so many ways it feels like I've been here forever, but at the same time I know the time is flying by and before you know it I will be getting my flight plans and then soon going out into the mission field.
All the days seem to mesh together, but every day I have a profound spiritual experience that strengthens my testimony. I have seriously grown so much since coming here, and every day is another witness to me that this church is the true church. I'm so grateful to be serving the Lord right now. I know without a shadow of a doubt, every experience I've had throughout my life has prepared me to be here right now.
So conference was AMAZING!!! Not that it isnt every time, but this conference just stood out to me so much. Maybe its because I'm on my mission and the spirit is so strong here and I get to receive personal revelation on a lot more frequent basis than what I used to be able to since I've been set apart as a missionary...but all those things aside, I know that the words the leaders of this church bore witness of are TRUE. Pretty much every talk was about the family! Now of course, I couldnt help but think of you guys during these talks, but not only was I mindful of you, I also was very mindful of my future family. Elder Hales said, "The greatest missionary service we could ever give is found in our own homes." That is so so true. I know that every day I am being faithful, obedient, and diligent..that the Lord is preparing me to bring God's royal army to the earth. He will be entrusting to me His children, to raise up in righteousness and to build up their faith. As women, our most sacred responsibility is to be mothers; to nurture and rear up our children in the gospel and with love. Throughout conference, my heart was touched and full of gratitude for all the teachings you mom and dad have taught me. I am so grateful for your loving influence.
Another cool experience I had during conference, actually during the YW General Meeting which we got to watch Saturday night during the Priesthood session, was that at some point in the future I will have a calling in the church to work with the Youth. Of course, in some ways this impression did not surprise me, but what did surprise me is 2 days later I had an even stronger impression. It was about 4:30 am when I woke up, not to stay up-just woke up naturally around that time- and my mind was completely clear. Then as clear as day the Spirit impressed upon my mind that I was going to be working with the youth, that this was going to be a sacred call for me. Now, when that time will come I am not sure, but I cannot deny the witness of the Spirit. Already, I know how much I loved coaching my girls and the influence in which I had the opportunity to be. Something I've learned is as much as I have looked up to others as my examples throughout my life, I too have been watched. You never know when someone is watching your every move and counting on you to influence them or inspire them to do better. I know this is true with all my heart. I keep thinking about how Dana was and has been such a powerful influence on me throughout yw and then continuing on to this present day where we have developed a strong bond of friendship. Please send her my love and gratitude. She is one amazing woman and example to me.
I also know, that my future eternal companion and future children are counting on me to make righteous choices and to prepare myself in the best way possible to bring my children here to this earth. I know that there are loved ones, who have passed on, including Grandpa Riggs and Grandpa Green who are by my side cheering me on and helping me along this path. Life isn't easy, missions aren't easy...but "Salvation doesnt come cheap" says Elder Holland in The Miracle of the Mission. I know that everything we aspire to be here in this life will only help our progression in the next. I am so excited to be embarking upon this journey. What greater opportunity and responsibility than what I have right now, is there to bring God's children back into His loving embrace and to be apart of the salvation of one's soul! It's truly remarkable when you think about it.
One of my favorite quotes from this week was by Joseph Smith, which I wrote down while watching the restoration. It reads:
"The Lord calls us in our weakness, but he qualifies us for the work."
I know this is so true about missionary work. As I have said I feel like I've been going through a refiners fire, but I know God is qualifying me for this work and molding me to be an effective tool in His hands.
I love you all so very much. Pray Always and Bear your testimony often.